Dotz in my life

2010-01-18T21:06:00.003+08:00

did i mention how much i like theoatmeal.com. its absolutely awe-inspiring.

was sitting in the car today, when i saw this high element advert, which goes: "COME AND EXPERIENCE THE OUTDOORS", which sounds pretty awesome, until you realise that its in kallang bahru, right beside the PIE. nice.

so its pretty weird about how people call outdoors the outdoors, considering that homo sapiens came from the outdoors. maybe they should have adverts outside shopping malls, saying "COME IN AND EXPERIENCE INDOOR SHOPPING".

darn the things i think of when i am on a roll.

2009-12-06T16:02:00.000+08:00

i think that this is so unfair.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1232217/Why-Im-ashamed-vet-shocking-expose-profession-puts-pets-painful-unnecessary-treatments-fleece-trusting-owners.html

2009-10-07T12:59:00.003+08:00

I think that as technology progresses, we get less and less inspired.

Six decades ago, millions of people can get roused up, ardent supporters clamouring to get to the front of the podiums. One speech could swell the breasts of so many to fight and give the ultimate sacrifice.

Yet now, we resort to sticking motivational posters on walls, tables and even ceilings. "Motivation, determination...". Bah. Now there are more and more feel good films, but they only last for a short high. Maybe its us getting more and more intellectual, that accounts for more rational thought and less comprehension of non-rational emotions.

Anyway, there are too many materialistic retards out there.

2009-09-12T18:39:00.002+08:00

its weird how sometimes life plays like a broken gramaphone. screeching over and over again.

2009-09-07T11:29:00.003+08:00

sometimes i find that life is one great big joke, people can pray for all their hearts worth for something and yet never get it. yet some people can dislike something so much yet it falls into their lap. maybe god has a warped sense of humour.

demons will appear to test the faithful, i say, let them try.

2009-08-18T12:42:00.001+08:00

i am so sick of healthy food. time to find me some munchies. grrr, rawr rawr

2009-08-14T22:42:00.002+08:00

i still remember when this song used to lift our spirits during those lonely nights in OCS. well, nothing's changed much since then.

2009-08-13T16:56:00.002+08:00

its quite amazing really the more you think about it. being part of this whole pandamic. there are actually things within me that are from the first person who ever got this virus. and that all the way from mexico.

can you imagine. i don't even know anyone from mexico and yet there's something inside me that is all the way from there! its quite exciting really. maybe it would be quite cool to interview the virus one to one before i exterminate it with lysol or something. its quite like one big virus-facebook kinda thing going.

and so after not seeing home for quite some time, now i get to see alot of it. 7 days of it in fact. and lysol has become my best friend. literally.

2009-08-13T09:45:00.001+08:00

don't you just love national day!!!

2009-08-01T09:50:00.002+08:00

this has been weird.

2009-06-30T17:51:00.001+08:00

i actually have a cousin that counts the number of seconds to christmas. yep, i have the same look on your face.

2009-06-30T12:15:00.002+08:00

if there's a only thing in this world that i hate, it would be people. yep. homo sapiens.

now you'd ask me why is this specimen of such species hating his species so?

i shall elaborate on a sub-species, slimy people. these particular sub-species possess invisible goo-glands, which excrete disgust and slime all over anything they come into contact with, generally causing an aura of disgust. such an aura is only visible to a select few, with the majority being clouded by an exotic mist of pheremones. an added feature featured in some sub-types are the presence of claws, which leads them to excel in scrabbling up people's a**es, as they attempt to find some purchase.

my advice to people is to squish these "parasites" wherever you find them, because they are such a nusiance.

GEEK DAY!

2009-06-14T00:34:00.003+08:00

oh yes the title explains this belated post.

after 135485091846109847519084751984750987 days long, i finally managed to satisfy the geek in me. that's right. poking around in sci-fi shops and hanging around in lan shops. i feel so proud of the geek in me.

its really quite fun to have something to occupy your free time besides work, even though its hanging around your mind like an persistant ghost. i can't wait for the 6th of Nov. tat's when all the ghosts can be excorcised! i hope.

2009-04-26T10:10:00.003+08:00

i just realized that all my posts are almost all on sundays. neat huh. haha talk about consistency.

whirlwind of events that will leave me spinning from now till aussie i guess. sometimes i hate having the future paved out in black and white. when one thing is settled, another crops up. eew. like some demented hydra.

i might have said this before but its quite cool to know that when we're doing our job right, others sleep soundly at night.

2009-04-12T20:14:00.000+08:00

#wish no 518: Must go to NYC before i die.

2009-04-06T20:04:00.002+08:00

he who knows no truth, lies without batting an eyelid.

life of a trainee rocks your socks off, not much responsibilities, its like being disconnected with reality. but its all come to an end now, nothing seems too long nor too short now.

qing ming came and went. i remember it was a day of excitement, of when you'd be all too eager about waking up at 4/5 plus to head down to the cemetary at the break of dawn to cover the tomb with confetti, offer incense, pray for good results and ultimately contribute to global warming alot. and now i still do feel excited, thank god, i'm not an adult yet.

the mausoleum is a surprisingly oppressive place, you can feel the overwhemling presence of something. i really shudder to think of what it is. then again, once in a while that feeling lifts, as you scan through the marble portraits, when you see those young faces amongst the old, those who had a bright future ahead of them, an immense pang of sadness develops. all that possibilities, gone to waste, just like that.

to be one man amongst billions, is to simply become a statistic, but its always nice to know that everyone matters to someone. i cant even describe my example, how do you describe a grieving husband sitting in front of his wife's tombstone trying to explain to their little daughter where her mum's moved on to?

2009-04-04T11:28:00.002+08:00

“You take the lies out of him, and he'll shrink to the size of your hat; you take the malice out of him, and he'll disappear”

-Mark Twain.

2009-03-28T16:19:00.001+08:00

i swear i'll kill myself if i don't get to watch detriot metal city. and everyone around me too.

2009-03-22T22:09:00.001+08:00

there's something wrong with this world, how weird that living in the jungle provides more solace and comfort that the urban jungle. hmm.

2009-03-08T11:29:00.002+08:00

hmm the world is a pretty weird place. just because some NTU guy jumped to his death and played violent computer games previously when he was still alive and kicking, they blame it on computer games. now parents all over are naggin their kids to stop. obviously that includes me. so here goes the logic. one fine day, some guy was eating a fishball when he choked and died. so do parents ban their kids from eating fishballs? so if someone gets knocked down by a car, do they ban cars? or people from crossing roads? go figure.

so in an open act of defiance, i played F.E.A.R 2 on the tv yesterday! i feel so liberated by the gore and spraying body parts. okay that sounds abit wrong, but there's no feeling like walking through a steaming mist of blood created by someone you just blasted. yum yum. haha just joking.

sometimes i wonder what are we given the authority for? not to challenge the higher authority i suppose, but what happens when its openly wrong? do we still keep mum and not do anything? or retaliate with a poisoned letter oozing with malice that would no doubt strike a fatal blow. that thought sure seems tempting.

2009-02-22T19:23:00.000+08:00

et maintenant?

2009-02-14T00:00:00.003+08:00

another one of my furry companions passed away during the CNY period. was so busy i didn't even realize it till much later. hmm, and i still remember when she had first been born, just a teensy little pink jellybean lookalike.

In no time at all, she turned into a speeding ball of fur travelling at light speed, as time flew on unrelentingly, she eventually aged and grew darker fur, and passed on. i wonder if this is how it feels like to be immortal, to see all things precious to you grow up, mature and die eventually. and that you'll be left alone. like they always say, horrors.

"nothing lasts forever. what matters is the present." or something like that.

i can't believe i just heard this recently: " I didn't know the world was populated by stupid people, until i came into the ****". Go figure.

2009-01-17T18:17:00.003+08:00

hmm one thing i realised is that people (me likewise) lack the moral courage to stand up to others, and depend on the might of the masses instead. how cowardly.

2009-01-02T22:45:00.000+08:00

hahah now this totally warms my insides. don't you feel fuzzy and all just watching it =)

2009-01-01T23:02:00.001+08:00

okay this totally sickens my insides.

2008-12-26T00:15:00.002+08:00

and so the 25th has come and gone, just another day like the other 364 days.

hmm people (including me) complain that this season seems to be lacking in the festivities and atmosphere, but what do we actually have to complain about? certainly not more than the elderly man slumped in a doorway on christmas eve, while people exchange banter over sumptous feasts of wine and dine, has to complain about. certainly not more than the elderly woman with no one to accompany her except her strays on a christmas morning. certainly not more than those unsung people who are doing duties on a christmas morning so that we may peacefully snuggle up in our bedholes. certainly not more than those who have not seen the christmas deco in orchard road their entire lives and most probably will never get the chance to.

to all the above mentioned groups of people, happy holidays.

2008-12-19T21:51:00.003+08:00

rotting at home is really quite something. never had such an experience for quite some time already, just sleep and sleep and sleep.

looking through some of the odac photos now, haha can't really remember what it feels like to wear the tie round the neck anymore. maybe in times of uncertainty, people usually turn to the past for solace.

feeling so restless. rah. i hate megavideos! i just want to watch good luck chuck *humph*

2008-12-19T13:17:00.000+08:00

another blog skin. this looks pretty gay though.

2008-12-08T15:16:00.003+08:00

and now it has come to this, the last stretch literally. after this week we're thrown into the deep end, with naught to help us but what we've barely managed to retain. may the lord have blessings for us all.

finally met up with bear and frog after 34682458 months, haha they're still the same. sometimes i envy the life of a men, even though there's an inproportionate amount of s*** to do, there's plenty of free time. well i guess you can't have everything in the world.

something's weirdly wrong with me, maybe its the weather, maybe its just nothing.

2008-11-30T14:22:00.002+08:00

why do we when young wish that we could grow up faster but yet when we grow up, we wish that time would slow down?

oh mann, i should stop watching emo shows

2008-11-30T12:29:00.001+08:00

oh yay, a new blogskin =)

2008-11-22T18:20:00.002+08:00

3 more weeks. that's how long we have before leaving ocs. last night was just a blur of everything that had gone by, so many excercises. all in the blink of an eye.

PAC was really a true test of mettle. through it i saw determination, raw power and unbridled fury for the first time in people that i had not thought possible. to see everyone putting in their best is really something. i truly am proud of being part of this platoon.

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?

2008-11-16T15:45:00.002+08:00

great goggly fugly i hate homework. especially on a weekend. especially if you have just like less than 6 hrs to book in.

to know the light one must first see the dark. but will I be able to pull myself from its clutches?

2008-11-09T01:28:00.004+08:00

and they said that life after taiwan would be relaxing. the past one week has to be the most trying ever and more of this hmm.

a whole string of emotional and physical rollercoasters rivalling that of G5 i must say. not to mention the most nonsensical bullshit that i've ever heard before. thanks brinjal for pulling me outta this muck. =)

started out fethed up and when things could feth up no further, surprise surprise. disappointment is such a weird feeling, it just numbs all your limbs, makes you feel no pain, like a puppet on strings. its at that point of time that something mindless completes the equation. (enter army here). (ie polishing the tips of flags poles)

reading my friend's blog scares me.

"Maybe its just because i have so much free time , so i'm probably imagining everything right"

2008-10-29T10:13:00.003+08:00

back from taiwan. time flies so fast.

RAH. I HATE HOTMAIL. or more well known as bringer of death and destruction. (essentially homework). @%^#%^@$%^@%$^&#&@. i think i shall feign ignorance again. oops. we all know how easily plugs come out of sockets.

right now i feel like cycling to timbaktoo.

2008-10-02T16:45:00.002+08:00

home (noun) : a place where you can hide away from the gaze of the world, a place of solitude, a place where you can do what you want with fear of criticism (minus parents)

i love time at home. just staring out at the green field. playing with hamsters watching them tumble head over heels on the sofa. with a glass of apple juice on the table and a book in your hand. that's the life.

if anyone could manage to find a way to sell time, i would buy it. maybe i would be the first in queue. or maybe not. i abhor my watch, everytime i look at it i wish i hadn't.

oh wow its time for the voyage west again.

2008-09-29T08:44:00.003+08:00

hmm long time since i last blogged, close to a month actually. thinking back it didn't really seem so long, in a whirlwind blur everything has passed. and now the pinnacle lies ahead. ROC. somehow i'm dreading everyday that passes closer to it. dreading more than brunei in fact. maybe its the fact that its the ultimate factor deciding if you're ready or not.

and oh where has confidence fled to now.

i have my utmost respect for those fasting muslims who still continue training. despite not eating and drinking. despite the hot weather bearing down on them. despite the constant temptations of the sweet nectar of raindrops that roll down their faces. all it takes is justa single lick. yet they hold true. where lesser men like me would have faltered, they stride on. you guys have my salutes.

and this small part left is for brinjal cheer up yo what type of monkey can fly? (ans way below)
If you don't have a smile, I'll give you one of mine.

ans: a hot air baboon =) *giggles*

2008-09-07T17:37:00.002+08:00

today's session really helped me alot. its tough to find a listening ear now, thanks for yours =)

i feel so much better. its good to know that you're not the only one making tough decisions, that you're not the only one thinking about things that way.

one step at a time now.

2008-09-01T01:56:00.003+08:00

once again i submit to another of my hunger pangs. i'm waiting for my instant noodles to cook at this god forsaken hour. and i secretly added almost the whole pack of seasoning.

super sinful.

but who cares. I know i'm not. bless the guy who discovered natural gas. bless the guy who made the ikea pot. now everywhere i look i give myself a smile for being a homeo sapien. how did we turn trees and such into the dwellings we stay in. the food we eat, the stuff we entertain ourseleves with. we've become so accustomed to such things we rarely give thanks for them anymore and just take it for granted. well here's my thanks who made it possible for hot noodles to take up citizenship in my stomach.

2008-08-08T10:41:00.003+08:00

change is the only constant. how frightfully true, i must've heard it a million times but yet it still stuns me. and here i am trying to cling on to the vestiges of the past. how i wish i could have to attitude of those yorkshire folks, "Aye, well these things happen."

sometimes i envy my hamsters, nothing in the world to care about except the next sunflower seed. and sleep. and the need to make tonnes of little hamsters. bless their little souls.

i can't believe brunei trip is today, despite SOMEONE grinding it in, well enjoy your wide open spaces and many many trees oh and throw in a couple of mozzies hahahaha. oops.

2008-08-08T09:24:00.001+08:00

the night is darkest before the dawn.

2008-08-06T22:35:00.002+08:00

block leave is now officially in motion. was on the mrt today with the guys and it dawned upon us that hey

1)its a WEEKDAY
2)we're not in camp
3)still long to report

and it felt good. amazing. i wonder why. so that's what the life of a civilian is like.

had happy hour last night, and i must say it was the best one that i ever had. for a moment there i was infused with joy? haha now even that emotion seems quite alien. so maybe that's why people take so much alcohol, to get into an semi-lucid, alcohol induced mindstate where stuff exist or dun exist. yucks.

2008-07-21T15:06:00.004+08:00

hmm i am wondering how to phrase words into words. that's quite paradoxical. maybe i should take a picture of the weather its something like what i'm going through now. grey. raining slightly. but not that it gets really thunderstormy. grey in moderation actually. basically its raining when it should be sunny, okay doesn't make sense.

sometimes i wonder if the future is shackled by the past. sometimes i dream of a runner dashing towards an open gate with a huge chasm blocking him and a cannonball chained to his feet. i shudder at the thought.

guess i'm just rambling on and on now. many a few people have asked under what conditions isit okay to lie. only to inspire hope i guess. hope that things will get better. hope the sky will turn sunny again. hope agony will end. so thats why i lie to myself. i remembered walking with the load on my back for what seemed countless hours and the same sentance kept rewinding: "its gonna end, its gonna end". i hope so.

in every life we have some trouble,
when you worry you make it double
don't worry, be happy

raise your fingers for one last salute

2008-06-29T12:04:00.004+08:00

i just realised how much i miss watching spongebob squarepants. its that insane retardness that makes the world go round. at least for my world.

oh mann, today's the last day that i might see nathan for quite some time gosh. i wonder if its the last time i can carry him on my shoulders. maybe when he comes the next time i might have to bring him to play lan. gasp. kids do grow up so fast. darn.

i can't believe i'm missing tango, and i'm actually missing wsm. i'd have to say goodbye to him before he leaves hahaha, maybe shake his hand. (if i were a girl i would hug him) HAHAHAHA.

uggh 4 days block leave is almost over. like that. kaput. i can't say it hasn't been fun though, even though much needed rest was lacking. good luck to those support arms people. if everything goes fine, which will be, we'll see each other on the parade square in 5 months time. that's a promise.

2008-06-26T07:40:00.000+08:00

Oh I had alot to say
Was thinking on my time away
I miss you and things weren't the same
'Cause everything inside it never comes out right
And when I see you cry it makes me wanna die.

This time I think i'm to blame
It's harder to get through the days
We get older and blame turns to shame
'Cause everything inside it never comes out right
And when I see you cry it makes me wanna die.

2008-06-20T14:40:00.004+08:00

long time since i was last back here, hmm and quite some things have happened though.

somehow there's just something about the sun filtering through the flag, the sound of 100 plus people running that gets me high high into the sky. its s wonderful feeling, and at that moment you really feel nigh high invincible.

oh mann service term is coming to a close. and i must really say that we all were really different from when we initially arrived as hairless, immature and naive recruits. we have since learnt to hate, despise, praise, argue, motivate, congratulate, manipulate, scheme, all in the wonderful game of survival. trust is a valuable commodity and friends are an even rarer one. its almost like an enclosed ecosystem inside here. hmm.

brinjal haha this post is almost same as yours! yea since we were a child we were taught to be nice and kind, compassionate, forgiving...but that's the reality of life. it doesn't apply here.

i need guidance please.

2008-06-08T07:39:00.001+08:00

suddenly i feel so relieved that i am so free =)

2008-06-07T21:22:00.001+08:00

its good to be reminded once in a while whom you're fighting for.

my dad today raised the prospect of countries going to war over the rising oil prices. quite scary if you think of it. right in the raging inferno that is war.

2008-06-07T00:43:00.001+08:00

i still can't believe that my fingers were already on the last pages of the chapter in my life and i actually lacked the courage to turn the page. sighz

2008-06-06T16:20:00.002+08:00

another major event has passed and the frustrations just seem to build up, almost everywhere i see i see red. luckily i exploded yesterday, otherwise things would almost certainly have gotten much worse.

i'm tired about complaining. i'm just glad that people get their just desserts =)

so ah. next week will be week 12 wow how time flies, 2 more weeks before service term ends. before everyone goes their own ways. even though there were quite many disagreements, i think that section one still got along quite well, at least amongst some of us i see bonds starting to form, like an unspoken language which we have in common.

the world is so unpredictable, no one knows what's gonna happen next, so enjoy while it lasts.

2008-05-25T00:22:00.002+08:00

es war nicht allzu lange her, was ich teetered auf eine Kante wie dieser, bereit zu fallen zurück in ein Tal der i kämpften hart zu klettern aus. Vielleicht habe ich einfach nie lernen.

2008-05-24T16:31:00.002+08:00

met some truly disappointing people today, actually i really have no idea why they're where they are. i personally think that their attitude is wrong, to neglect duties entrusted upon them for the sake of their own pleasure and enjoyment is really unbecoming of people whom others are counting on. but not that i'm shed of all guilt though.

thought that the test today was quite fun, i really dun mind if i get in =)

hmm, what to say about the past 12 days...like previous instructors said, its really a time where you get to know who your friends are and who are those with shitty attitude. its a time where you gradually begin to accept people and first impressions melt away, people who lend you a helping hand in literally the darkest hour, people whom desert you for a few moments of self pleasure. you begin to see and experience the well, realism of the world actually.

you get to see the sides of people, soft exteriors belie an iron will, a kindly face on a trickster. the past days have also given one a lot of time to think while you wait. i remember lying on the floor and seeing this teensy weensy spider, no more than the fullstop at the end of this sentence, spinning a web. the web was puny and i started wondering, what use does this web do? does this spider realise that there are other bigger insects out there whom this web is useless against? then somehow it suddenly struck me, we could very well be that spider, caught in our daily pursuits and ignorant of the magnitude of the world.

2008-05-11T11:22:00.003+08:00

i can't help but feel excited. EXCITED EXCITED EXCITED!

wonder what it would be like, meeting new people, new friends, new environment, new new new new new new new. and now i wish that fred would go to melb hahaha then can visit one another sometime. hahah i need to know how to cook and clean.

i actually dream of the place hahahaha.

2008-05-03T14:42:00.002+08:00

i realise that i'm day dreaming alot, wouldn't life be wonderful if .....if.....if........visions of the future seem pretty great. but somehow the present seems gloomy.

i've learnt never to really really hope or wish for something, so that when i get it, i feel surprised that i got it, and if i don't, well, it just cushions the impact. but right now i really really really hope that i get my letter. please please please let it be right.

i can't believe i'm so lazy =(

2008-05-01T23:03:00.002+08:00

yep, it feels good to be back home once again, even though my eyelids feel like lead i can't sleep because somehow i feel excited. at nothing. uh huh.

now all i can do is just sit and pray. a lot.

2008-04-26T15:38:00.002+08:00

wow, long time since i last blogged, time really flies superrrrrrrrr quickly. too quickly for my liking actually.

hmm i wonder what to say here, considering that anything related to training is a strict nonononono and to be in generic terms. i guess that i shall just talk crap here.

i guess that it ain't as prestigious as it seems coming here, considering how erm disappointing some people seem here. the amount of selfish people here really make you maddingly frustrated till you want to just hammer them into oblivion. of course we have all been selfish at some time or another but when its a daily occurence, it makes you wanna puke. especially when they try to erm wayang, which is totally tootified.

people spend the whole period of cleaning in their rooms or just walking about and commenting on how unclean the place is, which really makes you boil. so much for leading by example. lets not forget people whom aim to slack, oh hell, to lead to excel and overcome? "i must excel in everything to do", in which we are so well versed in? its really hard to believe that hypocrisy to such extent even exists.

but there is still room for rejoice as really wonderful people exist, their ability for tolerence is darn amazing.

2008-03-23T22:19:00.002+08:00

feels like forever since i've last been here and tomorrow's a new start, how fast time flies.

well, that past 2 weeks have been incredulous actually, i could get stuck there forever. afterall i saw a shooting star, how cool is that and i forgot to make a wish, hmm.

this is the life, well without the zombies and stuff.

2008-03-19T22:03:00.003+08:00

OH GREAT GOD!!! THE WORLD IS SO !#$^!#$^!#$^!#$!#$^!$% SMALL?!

2008-03-15T01:02:00.002+08:00

honestly it was only today that the full gravity of the hammer labelled life slammed into me. trips on public transports are really a good way of reflecting if you can find a seat that is. it also helps if you watched amelie poulain in the afternoon.

yet you realise that you are not yet an adult when you notice small details which adults pass off as negligible and useless to their lives. like how the moon is curved at a different angle tonight, like how your ice cube is a weird shape.

it felt good to be back in VJ again, to see the juniors having fun and all, to while the day away doing nothing, just chatting in the canteen, just being worried about the coming release of common test results. dont we all wish life was that simple.

one thing to look forward to though, its back to namly on monday =)

2008-03-13T11:13:00.003+08:00

its really true that the future is so uncertain, there are just tonnes of different paths which can be taken right now, each with their own happy or sad ending. the release of the A lvl results, posting after BMT, university choices, all would have a dramatic effect on the years to come.

the sad part is that they can't be treated like a game, where you can save and restart anew.

after 2 months, we all finally left tekong, haha, i'll miss the friends that i made there maybe even the irritating people that i met there. rolland and his super duper keblakan, zhengxun and his balls of steel, haoyu and his the f***, jordan and his calm, mao zheng with his chinese accent, boon with his 2 mins face, terrence hui being such a CB, gabriel with his laugh, xun yong with his erm smell, terence tan and his lazing on the bed, mike with his manly voice and yongxian with his sore throaty voice hahahahah. memories to last a life time.

2008-03-11T22:46:00.001+08:00

2008-02-24T15:39:00.003+08:00

yay, i'm feeling happy today, ate my fav foods and finally released my feet from the confines of the boots =)

finished the last part of atonement today, darn its really really sad. people should go see it haha.

2008-02-16T23:39:00.001+08:00

just realised that i spent almost the entire day doing sad stuff, watching memoirs of a geisha and atonement. sigh sigh

2008-02-08T22:37:00.001+08:00

oh well chinese new year's over and i must say it has been different, somehow it just ain't seem so festive. the bak kwa ain't as sweet anymore, and i can't eat pineapple tarts cuz of my throat. and i think that some relatives suspect that i am just released from prison. hmm, i wonder why.

2008-02-07T23:34:00.001+08:00

i can't believe that i'm actually doing this, i'm watching handycam version of cloverfield. i think i'm gonna be sick soon.

2008-02-06T15:25:00.001+08:00

okay i know what this might sound weird, but i kinda enjoy army life. haha, yep, you read this correctly. i'm not an alien by the way.

people hate the army because of the regimentation and the need for discipline but somehow i feel more free within the army hahahah. oh yea, some people apparently think that way too and walk along the whole corridor stark naked, but i think that its free in the sense that we can say what we want to buddies, its something like odac. yep. super fun.

oh yea field camp is coming up next week, hope that its something like korbu or else there would be no fun hahaha.

2008-02-03T16:22:00.000+08:00

haha, i don't know what to say here.

2008-01-07T22:13:00.000+08:00

i can't help but feel that there's a higher being above me teaching me lessons during the holidays in some unseen way. to whoever's reading this, its gonna get long and draggy.

somehow i can't help but feel that it was right going for the krabi trip. its was a definite eye opener and a humbling experience. you can't help but get awed by the people and the rocks there, even though they were silent, they were speaking volumes to me. at first my morale was super degraded, could only accomplish 6a, not even completing a 6a+, doing a few routes in a single day, total shit. no confidence in my feet, not daring to venture out of my comfort zone, fear of falling. it was the deepest shit hole i ever fell into, but then there's this little voice which says is this the best you can do? so yea, tried more at the end of the trip, but still not enough.

after the trip went to namly, another humbling experience, there's just so much to learn on the job. so many details, so many procedures. everything has its own allocated place. jeeze, its hard to describe in words. everything must be done with duty, if its not done right, its not a job worth doing. and most importantly, everything starts from nothing.

maybe unknowingly i was being trained for NS, hahaha.

2008-01-07T15:02:00.000+08:00

feels weird having a blog now, nothing much to say about life anymore and not much time to say it anyway, considering that tekong has no internet and that i'm not allowed to bring computers there.

hmm, just discovered cookies in my bag today, i think they've been fermenting for a week now, tastes all right though or so i tink. i think that i'm tasting either butter or almond cookies now. its weird to see ants turn away from food. yep, they're almond all right, or isit peanut butter.

i know that everyone's complaining about being old, about having to pay extra for taking a miserable bus ride. hell, i'm one of them too, and oh #%#$^!!^#%^&%^*, its raining again, so much for the trip to the army market.

oh another thing about being old, you never wanna venture out in the rain or get wet again. remembered D.Ang on korbu saying: "i'm not as young as i used to be, wet for a while now ah-chooing like free". yep, sad facts of being old. when you're old, you can't maintain during stayovers anymore, because you have to go to work the next day.

but hey there's something good about being old, the mundane-ness of everyday life makes you appreciate the simple things in life, be it a song, tune, accquaintence, a moment of solitude. suddenly i miss newton and blondie.

2008-01-06T21:06:00.000+08:00

i am so going to miss my hamsters =(

2008-01-01T18:29:00.001+08:00

its 1830, and i'm sleepy.

2007-12-29T00:40:00.000+08:00

today is the day i'm convinced that we indeed have to pay for our sins, for everything gained out of ill actions will be something of equal importance taken away from us.

today is also the day that i am convinced that there is indeed something mystical and unexplainable about life, or what some might call the soul or spirit that exists within this sarcophagus of tissue and cells. all organisms no matter how small or large seem to possess a mystical life force that compels it to move, laugh, talk, eat, show emotion. without that, we're nothing.

2007-12-26T21:38:00.000+08:00

haha, i'm currently watching borat and i'm cringing for him already, hahhahaha. he has super thick skin.

2007-12-26T18:40:00.000+08:00

oh yay, its christmas again, and somehow it seems that bad stuff always happens during christmas. i guess what frog's pastor quote was correct, "do not tempt yourself to believe that christmas is a fantasy holiday."

2007-12-16T14:33:00.000+08:00

i can't wait for the 28th hahaha, that's when i'll be back at namly, work never ends.

at first the thought of putting down an animal seems out of the question to many people, but after a while, the impossibility seems to fade away. its not as inhumane as it seems, its quite quick and painless from what i've seen, 3 seconds tops. the only scary thing about it is the solution, which is bright green, like some flourscent alien blood, apparently it used to be orange.

its quite weird to sit there and know that within a specific period of time, its going to die. you kinda feel sorry for it and give it its last meal, drink and cuddle. after that, there is nothing that can be done except pray that angels speedily receive its soul, bringing it to a better place. after that, you can't help but wonder if you'd made the right decision.

since i am so bored staying at home having nothing to do, i shall maybe list the places that i would like to visit before i die.

somehow new york attracts me. haha, maybe i would like to stay there for a while. maybe spend a christmas there or something, hahah. walking along the streets, huddling in a coat, walking into a cafe to get a hot cup of coffee, that seems perfect. watching the snowflakes fall, listening to the hustle and bustle of people going about their buisness getting out of the cold, the constant chatter of people in the cafe, seems weird i know, but yea.

and of course who can forget paris, ah the city of lights. maybe i am being influenced by ratatouille here but hey hey, it has a certain charm to it i guess. seeing the lourve, arch de truimphe, smelling the sweet smell of bread being baked? haha, wouldn't that be fun, maybe i can watch a strike happening there, after all not many happen in Singapore, thank god.

another place to go would be prague, haha. there's something about medieval castles, cobblestone roads and faded yellow buildings that attracts me too. its like going back to the past, hearing the clip clop of hooves on the cobblestones.

2007-12-14T20:31:00.000+08:00

Here I am, everyday, since you said, you'd come again
But it's not fair, 'cause you're not here
I wait in vain but nothing has changed
I'm a flower soaking in the rain
If I could wish one thing, I'd hear you call my name

So when will I see your face again
When will you touch my life again
When will I breathe you in again
I think I love you
Will I see your face again

Little things, like the way
She looked at me a certain kind of way
Tell me girl, where are you now
Because I don't know how much longer I can wait
I'm a dreamer waiting for the sun
When you call my name I know my life's begun
Tell me girl

When will I see your face again
When will you touch my life again
When will I breathe you in again
I think i love you
Will I see your face again

You know that all my life
I've been waiting
Waiting for someone, someone like you to love me
You can't come by like an angel into my life
And then fly away
Fly away

When will I see your face again
I've only seen you once my love
When will you touch my life again
I want to see you twice my love

When will I breathe you in again
I think I love you
When will I see your face again my friend
I think I love you

2007-12-07T22:47:00.001+08:00

oh yay neglected blog actually not so neglected, its only been what 3 days? and yet so much has happened.

firstly i think that i am not suited to drink alcohol. after post prom, i had the runs like madd, okay no more vodka cokes nor whiskey ribena ever again. unless i decidedly have a passion in toilet interior design.

secondly i love my job. seriously. hahahahahahahaha, it totally rocks. big time. i seriously hope and pray for my results ahhhhhhhhhhh. maybe i should go to disneyland again.

ahh, deviate a little, maybe i have said this before, but omg, disneyland!!! its really the land of wonder and fantasy, where people all have cheerful faces!! unless you're riding the splash mountain, which would then be ectacsy. fireworks that light up the whole sky! yay, and a night view to die for. dammn i miss it. someone should invent a teleporter so that i can reach there instantly, and in the meanwhile, can that someone also invent a time machine, so that i can get a load more time to play!

2007-12-04T02:09:00.001+08:00

rahh.

2007-11-27T21:47:00.000+08:00

yay, finally i am getting the "just be before OT, quickly pack" kind of mood!!!!! YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY!!!!!

excited excited excited!!!!

just hopefully it does not rain!

bye bye world!

2007-11-26T22:47:00.000+08:00

life after the A's is amazingly routine, just like during the A's. you wake up every morning at the same time, sleep at roughly the same time. do the same stuff, play the same stuff, plop down in front of the tvee at the same time every night.

books books books, i can't get enough of books, i wish i had millions, then i could buy borders down and make it my personal library. then all the seats would be empty and i could sit there forever, maybe open a cafe inside, then unlimited coffee or tea with a dash of milk or lemon, depending on the tea. occasionally there would be booksales on the books that i have finished, wouldn't that be fun.

this year's speed route was really !#%@$^#@$!#!#@$^@ what do the kazaks eat mann, either that or they have fingers of steel.

2007-11-21T20:53:00.000+08:00

6 days to clean up the mess left by close to 6 months of piling up.

god help me.

2007-11-20T21:22:00.000+08:00

its raining, its pouring, what a dreadful noise it is making. but where's the lightning and the thunder? oh wait, here it comes, smiting all that is in its path, doors slam shut, windows rattle. a weird smell in the air, almost metallic, like the metallic aftertaste of blood.

i must be growing tired, its so weird that in the day twas bright and sunny at first.

2007-11-20T11:14:00.000+08:00

i feel south park degrading my brain already, and there's still one paper left. hahahahhahahahahaha. today seems like a great day, great sun, even the birds are chirping. wait, they chirp everyday.

2007-11-17T20:29:00.000+08:00

ever had a dream so vivid that you thought that it was real and that you didn't want it to end? the song played in the dream gets trapped within your head for the entire day, the lights, the dance, the sounds and even the smells.

2007-11-10T01:08:00.000+08:00

mann, this is going to be a long post, but oh wells.

heh, don't really know where to start from here, been quite a trying time for my part of my family, my aunt just passed away four days ago and its quite amazing how much you can get to see and learn during a funeral. those kind of things which cannot be applied in any A level papers unless you count divinity.

hmm, i wonder if i am cursed or something. because everytime i have a major exam, someone would pass away. this had better not continue, or maybe its just a coincidence.

of course this isn't the first funeral that i'd been too, but its the one which i pondered over the most. why do people like to deal with absolutes? does right mean right and wrong mean wrong? is there no neutral ground, no comprimise?

well, another conclusion that i came to is that people believe in what they want to believe in, which is usually beneficial to them. i caught myself thinking this also, maybe its something that humans have built into them. and i wonder whether compassion is the uniquely human element which defines us. do other organisms mourn the same way as us? at least i know that hamsters and elephants do to a certain extent.

funerals are also a time to learn about secrets that you never knew, to see the other facade of someone you thought you knew. and seriously, time is really short.
really really short. memories long ago seem like they just happened yesterday. before you know it, you might be standing in front of the pearly gates.

hai, i guess that we should all treasure the best, and forget the rest.

2007-11-09T15:25:00.000+08:00

being a harlequin would be so fun. entertaining a single thought at a time, utterly confusing that thought. wait, then i am one already.

2007-11-05T20:43:00.000+08:00

Describe the processing of the primary RNA transcript

Capping the the addition of a 7 methylguanosine residue on the 5` end of the primary RNA transcript, polyadenylation is the addtion of a poly adenosine tail of 200 adenylate residues by a nuclear polymerase, rna splicing is the removal of all the introns and splicing together and joining the exons, forming final mRNA.

gee, what fun.

2007-10-30T15:19:00.000+08:00

t'was a rainy day today, and i realised how similar people taking the exams are. i looked out the window to see the raindrops fall and behold there was another looking back at me, with the same kind of look i guess. haha.

2007-10-17T00:49:00.000+08:00

oh shucks, time is running out but how come i'm running in, hmm.

2007-10-15T13:19:00.000+08:00

well today's a dark gloomy day with lashing rains and alot of thunder plus lightening thrown in, seems like a good day to sleep instead of studying. mann, the wind's so cooling, haha.

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
And just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed
Nothin' seems to fit
Those raindrops are fallin' on my head, they keep fallin'

So I just did me some talkin' to the sun
And I said I didn't like the way he got things done
Sleepin' on the job
Those raindrops are fallin' on my head, they keep fallin'

But there's one thing I know
The blues they send to meet me won't defeat me
It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin' red
Cryin's not for me
'Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'
Because I'm free
Nothin's worryin' me

It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me
Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin' red
Cryin's not for me'
Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'
Because I'm free
Nothin's worryin' me

2007-10-14T02:19:00.000+08:00

2007-10-07T23:50:00.000+08:00

the hardest things in the world to make is not the titanic, megastructures, a floating island, a homework doing robot, its choices. and its all hidden in chapter 1.1, page 1, maybe even line 1 of your econs notes or books. the opportunity cost. how the heck do you weigh the costs of doing something unique over the other?

and so you start thinking, maybe that's how humans started thinking, should me bash up Uggh who stole my apple with a club or a stone. or something like that. the cost is the satisfaction obtained and maybe the injuries sustained from a prolonged fight. sometimes that cost comes with an added bill, regret. its like those never ending bills for this and that, mentally depressing, always coming.

if only life was like a computer game, where you could save umpteen times, so that you can try again from different angles or at your own pleasure. wouldn't that be fun.

2007-09-29T22:52:00.000+08:00

somehow there seems to be the unwritten rule that people blog when they have nothing better to do in their lives or when alot of stuff is going on in their lives. of which i conform to the latter part of the rule.

its amazing how much you can think about what you're going to blog about before blogging and when you're at the keyboard, everything evaporates just like steam, or maybe alcohol on a hot day.

yep, i just slacked my time away by watching miss teen USA,can you believe it? i'm sitting for the A levels and yet i watch such mentally degrading stuff. or so i thought. at least one of them managed to quote Dr Seuss (heh), what a source anyway, here goes, "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." it pretty sums up what i feel right now.

as stupid as this sounds, charlie and the chocolate factory is really a neat show to watch after about 10 times or so. the sheer addictive nature of the oompa-loompas keep you glued to the television set. plus all those cute fuzzy little squirrels. plus the fact that it tells us not to trust adults so much, for example, candy floss comes from pink wooly sheeps =). wouldn't it be nice to have a chocolate waterfall, chocolate mountain and stuff, which all seems pointless, but then again, candy does not need to have a point. much like the exams, oh how i stray.

2007-09-25T21:06:00.000+08:00

its been 5 days since i stepped into the adult world. just 5 short days. and its a new hostile world, an unforgiving one. one which so far sucks. nothing to look forward, just privilages to be stripped of.

hmm, i dare say that 17 and 16 are going to be fav numbers from now on and 18 is going to be the suckiest. afterall they hold the best memories i ever had. hahaha. or rather so far i had, i would give everything to live through it again, despite it being like shit at times.

lemony snickett's wrote: though it might seem unlikely at times, believe me when i say that good in this world outweighs the bad in this world, you just have to look hard enough. i believe in that statement but sometimes you dun have to go on looking so hard, maybe that's what i am doing now.

shit, i can't stop repeating how being 18 sucks. like totally. despite being of the legal age to purchase alcohol, consumption was always "allowed". that being out of sight. yay, M18 films are allowed too, but i watched 300 already. sorry, but i can't think of anything more exciting now that i'm 18.

i just hope that 18 is just a phase, and that things would improve as the A's bear down on me.

2007-07-05T23:58:00.001+08:00

yay cts are over, hmm kinda of late, but there's still so much left undone. =( and its back to studying again. crap.

oh the reason i posted is because i find the need to denounce megalomaniacs. rahh, been feeling kind of angry these few days, woke up on the first day of school feeling myself coursing with not anger but rage. pure unhindered rage.

megalomaniacs in my opinion are the lowest scum sucking lifeforms in the world. so what if you're good or better than the rest? with an attitude like that you're not worth shit.

okay rage coursing through my veins again, i hate attention seekers. hahah, sorry but i can't help it, they're like flies being attracted to shit. hahaha, a desperate natural instinct to home in on attention. okay, i feel like i'm blabbering crap now.

2007-06-24T22:49:00.000+08:00

considering the desperate circumstances that i'm presently in, there's only one word to describe how i'm feeling about the CTs.

NAHBEH. =(

2007-06-22T22:08:00.000+08:00

haiz, today is really a bad day. my other hamster just died, at 2143. it just happened so suddenly a series of convulsions later and it'd gone to a better place. =(

how i wish that we could all go to a better place and not take our CTs.

2007-06-19T15:56:00.000+08:00

heh, its really quite fun reading your own posts in the past, heh, especially miss the part of the vietnam trip and korbu. brings back a tonne plus plus of memories, haha, memories of unglamness, disgust, weirdness, despair, hope and so much more.

i really miss climbing, it doesn't really help much that my fingers are starting to peel from a lack of use crimps. exams are really unhealthy, after eating you just sit in one ole spot and mug, leaving all the fats to agregrate within you, yucks, the very thought of it puts me off. then of course there are people who study while cycling on a static bike, well, good for burning fats but all knowledge goes along with it.

how i wish that there was some excitement that followed the studying.

2007-06-17T22:16:00.001+08:00

rahh, so suddenly felt this rush of anger come over me, maybe its something in the coffee, just can't stand people who are not zai and want to act zai. haha, i feel like bastardizing people right now.

anyway, rush of anger is now OFFICIALLY OVER!! okay, anywae, hai, my hamster has just died. and so goes the last of the parent generation, now i'm stuck with 4 kids, haha. i wonder if he knew whether it was coming, he just crawled into the toilet (its toilet by the way, why does everyone ask this) and died in its sleep. hmm, may it rest in peace and head to hamster heaven.

2007-06-15T23:59:00.000+08:00

orange joy is infectious, guess it resided in me all along. =)